.. sigh ..

I've been feeling so "sappy" lately, which isn't helped by the fact that my parents were doing some dejunking and came across some old forgotten tapes of the boys among their videotapes. I haven't watched them yet, but mom said they were of Exhibit B crawling.. I can't believe they are growing up so fast...and of course, I still keep thinking of what might have been. I really need to quit. We got on our paths years ago; I need to stay on my path and quit peeking over at his. It's hard though. I can't imagine why he took this overseas job (another thing which is still bothering me.) He missed out on almost 2 years of the kids' lives when he wasn't around completely, not to mention only seeing them on alternate weekends when he *IS/WAS* around. He has missed out on more than he'll ever know. On a similar note, I know of a lady who is having marital problems. I just want to shake her senseless and say, "DON'T GO THERE." (OK, maybe that's a bit strong, but ...) I've been praying for her. She doesn't want to end up in our situation, no matter how much she thinks she does right now and I've told her as much.

I'm rambling still rambling at 4:30 5:14 a.m. and need coffee hasn't helped.