rambling thoughts

Like everyone else, I've been following this whole situation. I've been on an emotional rollercoaster.. from crying my eyes out like I haven't done in years, to numbness, to anger, and everything in between.

There is not a shred of doubt left in the minds of my children where I stand should this ever be my situation.

Years ago, I told my children something that they (as kids do) took out of context. I had told them that I would rather them be an honest janitor (no offense to you janitors out there) than an immoral brain surgeon or rocket scientist. My wonderful exhibits blurted out to me once, "but you said you wanted us to be stupid." Ahh kids. (hanging head in shame). The reason I brought this up is that I was watching Fox the other day and they had a young physician on who went on and on about how Terri will not be suffering and how she will go on to drift off into a nice peaceful little coma. I thought (ok I yelled it at the TV) that how can someone be so educated and so stupid??!!!! At that point, it hit me. This was precisely the example I had in mind all those years ago... my kids finally understood!

As I write this, it doesn't look good for Terri. I can only try to see that there is a bigger picture. Do I want Terri to die? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Do I think it is going to happen? Sadly, I do believe it is. I am trying to come to grips with this. More than I ever have, I am trying to understand that some good may come out of this. Terri will possibly be sainted. Maybe there will be some interventions. There has to be some good to balance out all this evil.

How can Michael live with himself? I have tried to remind myself that God loves even Michael. What a sad soul he must be.

Isn't it ironic? Almost 2000 years ago, an innocent person's fate was also being passed from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, each washing their hands of what they were doing.

Last Friday I was sobbing uncontrollably as I prayed my rosary and read the sorrowful mysteries. This Friday being Good Friday, two phrases really stand out in my mind. "I thirst" and "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" I think of Terri and cry all over again.

Pray.

*more thoughts:
I haven't mentioned my friend in a while (the one in a similar condition as Terri).

I can't help but think of her when I hear about Terri. Even so, I haven't been to see her for about 2 weeks. I'm going to go today.

For Terri

NOVENA PRAYER TO ST MAXIMILIAN KOLBE O Lord Jesus Christ, who said, "greater love than this no man has that a man lay down his life for his friends," through the intercession of St. Maximilian Kolbe whose life illustrated such love, we beseech you to grant us our petitions . . . (here mention the requests you have).