yikes

I've been absent from my blog and now I see I've disappeared from the side-bars of a lot of the blogs I've frequented. (sniffsniffsniff)

and then it was october

wow. blogging has fallen by the wayside, huh?

I'll gather some thoughts and post soon.

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack

Wow, 2 months fly when you are homeschooling, holding down 2 transcription jobs, and starting a photo business.

Happily, I can say that things are rolling right along and I can see that there WILL be a time (hopefully sooner than later) when I can support myself/the kids with this. Still can't believe it. .. people are PAYING ME to take their portraits. Gotta love it.

I'll try to not be such a stranger.

a moment of silence

still praying

What faith the Schindlers have! We must all keep praying.

I looked back over my blog and it is almost April. I can't believe I've let the blogging go off track as much as I have.

So, what have we been doing all this time? Well, I've been working on keeping a job I don't care for but still need. I've been working on plan B and plan C (the photo gigs and transcribing notes for a local therapist)... we've been struggling along with school and the boys have spent time with their dad. He recently came back for a visit, but has extended his stint overseas. He's gone again now.

We've spent the last month or two before Palm Sunday working tirelessly on a production the youth group presented to our Parish. Everyone loved it!

and.... drumroll... my oldest is now driving. Pray for us! He got his permit last week, after much red tape and tears of frustration. I forgot how much trouble it was getting a permit (or DID i ever have so much trouble?) We made 5 trips before he got it... standing in line for about 2 hours twice only to get to the front and find out we either didn't have all our papers, or they said we needed additional papers. We then said that was no good, let's go to the next town over. Sure enough, the line was short and this time the clerks were nice, but we needed to test at the office in our city. So, thinking maybe 4 times would be the charm, we went down again with all our papers in hand and feeling really confident. All the papers were fine and we were set to have Ex A take his test. Whoops! They had no testing material for him. He was not on record! I was crushed (more than my son). It seemed after much backtracking that his papers had been sent to the next town (in the other direction). So, 5 times was the charm as we hopped in the car and flew over to DPS. The drive over, short wait in line, and drive back (after he passed the written test) was shorter than standing in line in our city. Go figure! Anyway, long story short, my son is now eager to drive me to HEB, to Walmart, to Church.. anywhere :)

rambling thoughts

Like everyone else, I've been following this whole situation. I've been on an emotional rollercoaster.. from crying my eyes out like I haven't done in years, to numbness, to anger, and everything in between.

There is not a shred of doubt left in the minds of my children where I stand should this ever be my situation.

Years ago, I told my children something that they (as kids do) took out of context. I had told them that I would rather them be an honest janitor (no offense to you janitors out there) than an immoral brain surgeon or rocket scientist. My wonderful exhibits blurted out to me once, "but you said you wanted us to be stupid." Ahh kids. (hanging head in shame). The reason I brought this up is that I was watching Fox the other day and they had a young physician on who went on and on about how Terri will not be suffering and how she will go on to drift off into a nice peaceful little coma. I thought (ok I yelled it at the TV) that how can someone be so educated and so stupid??!!!! At that point, it hit me. This was precisely the example I had in mind all those years ago... my kids finally understood!

As I write this, it doesn't look good for Terri. I can only try to see that there is a bigger picture. Do I want Terri to die? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Do I think it is going to happen? Sadly, I do believe it is. I am trying to come to grips with this. More than I ever have, I am trying to understand that some good may come out of this. Terri will possibly be sainted. Maybe there will be some interventions. There has to be some good to balance out all this evil.

How can Michael live with himself? I have tried to remind myself that God loves even Michael. What a sad soul he must be.

Isn't it ironic? Almost 2000 years ago, an innocent person's fate was also being passed from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, each washing their hands of what they were doing.

Last Friday I was sobbing uncontrollably as I prayed my rosary and read the sorrowful mysteries. This Friday being Good Friday, two phrases really stand out in my mind. "I thirst" and "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" I think of Terri and cry all over again.

Pray.

*more thoughts:
I haven't mentioned my friend in a while (the one in a similar condition as Terri).

I can't help but think of her when I hear about Terri. Even so, I haven't been to see her for about 2 weeks. I'm going to go today.

For Terri

NOVENA PRAYER TO ST MAXIMILIAN KOLBE O Lord Jesus Christ, who said, "greater love than this no man has that a man lay down his life for his friends," through the intercession of St. Maximilian Kolbe whose life illustrated such love, we beseech you to grant us our petitions . . . (here mention the requests you have).

.. and then it was February..

Please pray for Pope John Paul.

Toss a prayer or two my way, too. I finally went to the doctor about a problem I've been having with acid reflux. Tums just wasn't cutting it, so now they brought out the big guns and I'm on Prilosec. Have to go for an upper GI in the near future just to make sure all is well, which I am sure it will be.

On a lighter note, my wonderful procrastinating Ex. A finally came through (he usually does) and we're on track again. He got a good grade on his history essay and submitted his religion paper. I think he did well; hope his teacher agrees.

On an even lighter note.. I have another possible job upcoming! (a photo job, not the day job!) She emailed me and I have to call her tomorrow. Yay!

a list

I had thought after my whining that I should focus on the things I am grateful for and things I'm fond of, and lo and behold, there was a list on the Summa Mamas as well. GMTA?

sooooooooooo, here is my *PARTIAL* list:

1. My parish.
2. My family.
3. My camera!
4. Everybody Loves Raymond. Every afternoon I watch the rerun and say clockwork, "Raymond? I *Love* Raymond" (To which the kids roll their eyes)
5. Ciabatta bread (yum)
6. Sunsets.
7. iTunes.
8. The local Mexican restaurant up the road.
9. Hugs from 2 teen boys who still need them, no matter how "tough" they try to be.
10. Driving down a country back road and having a favorite song come on.
11. Spring time in central Texas (come on, bluebonnets)
12. George Strait (see #10)
13. Sleeping late (though I really don't remember that one lately LOL)
14. Getting that "you've done good" feeling.

Yikes.. just looked at the clock. Have to be up at 6 to carpool kids to a retreat in the morning.. G'nite! P.S. Thanks Dy :)